Awkward Marriage Moments

There are times you want to smile, wish your husband well, and back slowly out of the room (possibly into a getaway car). The good news: They happen to every happy couple. Read and relate, ladies.
By Erin Zammett Ruddy


It was our first holiday as a married couple, and my husband, Nick, was walking into the kitchen at my parents' annual Christmas Eve party. He had a plate of food in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, and he lost his footing on the step and, well, splat. I should add that Nick is 6-foot-3 and about 220 pounds, so when he went down, the festivities came to a screeching halt. Nick bounced right up and laughed it off, but the awkwardness - and the image of him splayed out next to my mother's life-size drummer boys - lingered. It was the first time I ever felt embarrassed by my husband.

In the six years since, I've had plenty of these out-of-body, who-is-this-person-I'm-spending-my-life-with moments. Lest you think I'm cruel, I am sure his list of such moments would be even longer, and undoubtedly include doozies like, "When I see Erin tuck her postbaby belly flab into her underwear, I think, Dayum, that ain't right."

Sure, these embarrassing/ridiculous/pathetic encounters (which nobody talks about, but everyone has) chip away at some of the allure in a marriage, but they also reinforce just how intimate that bond is: Your husband knows and sees things no one else does, and he's probably unfazed by 99 percent of it. Feeling like a stranger in your relationship from time to time isn't strange at all - it's the stuff real-deal couples are made of. And often, as I learned from grilling dozens of them, it's kind of hilarious. Enjoy their stories, and prepare to feel, well, awkward.

Aging unbeautifully
When Michelle,* 34, met her 15-years-older husband, she thought the age gap was sexy. Now he's almost 50 - and it's beginning to show. "The other day, the refrigerator door alarm went off for like two minutes, and he didn't budge," she says. "I was like, Oh, my God, does he not hear that?! Uh oh ... " For the first time, she started to think of him as an old man. Fortunately, when she caught a glimpse of him dancing crazily with their kids later that night, she remembered why she fell in love with him in the first place, "rapidly multiplying gray hairs" and all.

A friend of mine who's gained some weight since her wedding a few years ago recently got stuck in her Spanx, and her husband literally had to peel them off her. "Slowly, every layer of my body - layers I keep hidden from everyone - was spilling out over the material, and there was nothing we could do but laugh," she says. "But later he told me I really shouldn't wear things I can't get in and out of myself, which I suppose is true!"

Is this gift returnable? Is my husband?
The year her husband got her a bike for Christmas, Tara, 31, cried - in front of her in-laws. "I'm a runner. I run every day. It's a huge part of who I am. So when my husband walked in with a bike, I was just overcome with this feeling that he didn't really know me," she explains. "And worse, I worried that he never would. I felt bad for upsetting him, but I had to ask where the idea came from." Turns out Tara's husband had recalled the two of them watching a commercial with a couple riding bikes, and, allegedly, Tara had said, "We should start riding bikes together." Aww. "It was such a great story and showed how much thought he'd put into the gift," says Tara. "But what's funny is that while I do remember seeing the commercial, I don't remember saying that! I didn't use the bike until the next summer, when I did a 45-mile ride with coworkers for charity. It was awesome. But sadly, that was the first and last time it's been ridden."

On our anniversary a few years back, my husband disappeared to run a few errands. Shortly after he returned, he casually said, "Oh, yeah, I have your present. Let me find it." When I opened the box and saw a so-not-my-taste, blinged-out horseshoe necklace, my first thought was, Have we met?! My second thought: Dude, I know you bought this an hour ago, so maybe it won't hurt your feelings if I tell you I'll never wear it. Of course, I feigned gratitude (I didn't want to ruin our day), but I knew we'd have to have The Talk, where I'd tell him that if he's going to duck out on a holiday to buy me cheesy, meaningless, overpriced mall jewelry (I saw the receipt - it cost $400!), I'd rather he just ... not.


http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/awkward-marriage-moments-1

Sexy and Romantic Christmas Ideas for You and Your Lover

Sexy and Romantic Christmas Ideas for You and Your Lover
Katie Rose

Romantic gifts are very popular for anniversary or Valentine's Day and other special times of the year, but Christmas gives a good excuse for going overboard in treating your lover to something extra sensual.
Proclaim your desire with one of these romantic gift ideas:
Lover's Romance Basket: Have a basket full of romantic massage oils, champagne, fresh fruit, dipping chocolate and a candle waiting on the bed. Decorate the basket with holiday scented pine branches and include a sexy pair of boxers for him and a babydoll or exotic nighty for her.
Be a Player: There are many games available for lovers to play in the privacy of their bedrooms. These intimate play sets can help enrich and enhance relationships by fostering communication and experimentation - plus they are lot of fun to play. Look for Strip Chocolate Checkers, An Enchanted Evening and Romance Tonight Dice.
Candlelit Picnic Dinner: Even when it is cold and snowy out you can arrange a cozy candlelit picnic dinner for the two of you in your living room or bedroom. If you have a fireplace, stack up the wood and light it up. Have a bottle of your favorite wine and sensual finger treats to eat and feed one another.
Naughty Books: Books are easy to find and inexpensive to buy - so buy more than one. You and your lover are sure to enjoy one that's a little on the naughty side - maybe a book of Penthouse Letter, Anne Rice's erotic Beauty Series, or go with the classic Karma Sutra - sure to help you provide many nights of romantic gifts to one another.
Get Wet: When you arrive home after work, hand the one you love a gift bag that holds a big bottle of bubble bath, exotic scented oil, floating candles and sponges. Include a note that tells her to meet you in the bath after dinner (or after the kids go to bed).
The Gift That Keeps Giving: Sign your lover (or both of you) up for a Year of Lingerie. You can prepay for the year and have sexy lingerie delivered to your door every month (or every other month for smaller budgets). Every time the sexy package is delivered you can count on a special night together with your new novelties and have the sensual magic of your Christmas gift last all year long.
Copyright 2005 www.katieroseintimates.com Katie Rose Intimates Sexy Costumes and LingerieATTENTION WEBMASTERS and EZINE PUBLISHERS - Permission is granted to publish this article on your site or in your Ezine but ONLY if my bio paragraph is included and all links are hyperlinked. I would also appreciate a note letting me know that you are using it, although it is not mandatory, I just like to see where my work is being used.Katie Rose is the owner of Katie Rose Intimates Sexy Costumes and Lingerie - a fine lingerie shop featuring romantic Christmas and holiday gifts, fantasy clothing, leather and lace and intimate apparel in sexy, erotic, romantic and unique styles - with special attention for the plus size woman andKatie Rose Kids - an online boutique for clothing, toys and unique gifts for preemies, infants, toddlers, preschoolers and moms too. We have baby shower gift, as well as bath accessories, baby slings, books, decor, educational toys and personalized clothes, blankets and keepsake gifts. Perfect for Christmas, Easter, Valentines and other Holiday presents.Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Katie_Rose

Romantic Conversation Starters for Couples

Romantic Conversation Starters for Couples
When do you feel loved the most?
When was the most romantic dinner you've ever had?
What is the most happiest moment that you've spent with me so far?
How do you want to spend our next anniversary?
Which part of our house do you like the most?
What were your feelings when you exchanged the ring with me?
What is the best way for me to encourage you?
What is the first thought that comes to you when you wake up?

Your Next Argument

Your Next Argument: 10 Things to Consider Before You Get There
By Jeff Herring

1. It's addictive. Fighting, and the anger that comes with it, kicks off the old fight-or-flight response that prepares us to handle a threat. This produces a kind of energy, or "high." Some people have said that what kept the fighting alive in their relationship was the "juiced" feeling they would get when fighting mad.

2. It's not necessary. Conflict in marriage is inevitable. It's also necessary for a relationship because, if you have your own mind, you will sometimes see things differently. Being able to successfully handle the conflict of seeing things differently speaks to the strength of the relationship.

While conflict is inevitable and even necessary, fighting is a choice. Once you choose to see your spouse as an adversary to conquer, there is really not much good stuff that can follow.

3. Nobody wins. Fights have winners and losers. Even when you win a fight, you do so at the expense of your partner, the relationship, and therefore, your own expense as well.

4. It's a lousy model for your kids. Kids almost always know when something is going on, because they have such good antennae and pick up on much more than we would like to admit. From their parents, children can learn that marriage is a battle ground or a good place to be.

5. It devalues your feelings. If there were an unlimited amount of gold available, then how much would gold be worth? It's the same way with anger. If you get angry at everything, then your anger means nothing. One of the most important skills in resolving conflict is learning how to pick your battles.

6. It creates bad associations. Couples who fight regularly develop negative and painful patterns of interaction that take on a life of their own and run automatically. After they have been run enough, all you have to do is see your spouse's face or hear his or her voice and you automatically react with anger. This creates an atmosphere of anger and more distance between people.

7. It creates bad memories. Over time, constant fighting diminishes and overshadows the positive memories, creating a history of mainly bad memories.

8. It's lousy foreplay. There are those who say the kissing and making up is worth the fighting, but there are better ways to get there. Fighting creates distance and leaves resentments to fester and grow.

9. The words said during fights can wound and leave scars. Part of the covenant of marriage is you are given your partner's heart to hold in your hands and care for it. Wounding and scarring is not taking good care of a heart.

10. There are other options. One of many options is the 3 C's of resolving conflict: compromise, capitulate, co-exist. Compromise is to find a solution, or series of solutions, that satisfy as many needs as possible for both partners.

Capitulate does not mean to give in. It does mean that in some conflicts, the issue is very important to one and not so important to the other. It means one defers to the other.

Sometimes two people will see an issue in entirely different ways. You can agree to disagree and peacefully co-exist on the issue.

Jeff Herrring, MS, LMFT is a marriage and family therapist, relationship coach, speaker and nationally syndicated relationship columnist, and founder and CEO of http://www.SecretsofGreatrelationships.com. You can email Jeff at jeff@jeffherring.com and sign up for his free internet newsletter "Great Relationships Tip of the Week" on his website athttp://www.SecretsofGreatRelationships.comArticle Source: http://EzineArticles.com/