How to Save for Your Wedding
Forget going into debt. With just a few savvy money moves, you can build a big-day nest egg for the wedding of your dreams.
by Denise Schipani
As your wedding day approaches, and the bills are coming due, it will be nice to know that your piggybank—whether actual or metaphorical—is full to bursting, thanks to your clever ideas and smart saving strategies. Nothing beats starting married life debt-free, and with good saving habits to boot.
Quick quiz: Now that you're engaged, do you have any idea what your dream wedding might, you know, cost? If you're fumbling with figures, don't feel too bad. Many couples are not only unsure of how much a wedding costs—keep in mind that the average price tag for a wedding today is $26,800—but also in the dark about where the money will come from.Though weddings and fantasy go together, you need to be practical—and start saving money—if you're going to avoid descending into debt.
First, you and your fiancé should get an idea of how much you have at the moment, and then consider where any possibly "free" money may be coming from, advises Joyce Scardina Becker, author of Countdown to Your Perfect Wedding (St. Martin's Press, 2006). Maybe the two of you have a few bucks set aside, or know that a plump check is on its way from a freelance project, the IRS or a bonus. It's also time to talk to Mom and Dad. Both sets. What—if anything—are they willing or able to kick in?
Now that you have a dollar figure, do some research, so you can get a grip on how much your event may cost. You can determine such things as the event-rental rate at that seaside mansion, the fees your house of worship might charge, the price range on local vendors and so on.
Little also suggests taking the "if you don't see it, it won't hurt" approach to savings. "Tell your bank to skim some money off the top of each of your paychecks and deposit it into your wedding savings account," she says. "Even $50 each per paycheck can add up to a nice sum in a year."
Short term: Saving Your Cash
If You Skip
When it comes to saving money, it can be tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just why are you having boring coffee at home instead of your usual Starbucks Caffè Latte? Here’s why those little sacrifices really count.
If you skip...
• an $8 lunch every workday for a year, you save; $2,080. You can buy/hire a wedding dress; a DJ; flowers.
• a $4 specialty coffee drink every workday for a year, you save $1,040. You can buy custom invitations.
• four magazines ($3.50 each) a month for a year, you save $168. You can buy honeymoon lingerie.
You may be surprised to learn that there are many easy and, yes, even painless, ways to squirrel away cash. Here are just a few ideas:
Keep the Change. You might assume that putting aside a little loose change here and there won't do much. But Sara Middlebrook, 27, an event director who got married in October 2004, and lives in Cedar Springs, Michigan, begs to differ. "In the eight months that we were engaged, Scott and I never spent a cent of our change, or our single dollar bills," she says. "With the money we saved, we were able to pay for a week-long honeymoon in the Smoky Mountains, including a rental house, entertainment and dining. We couldn't believe how quickly all of our small change and single dollar bills added up."
Eat, Drink and Be Thrifty. Think you have to completely forgo all forms of entertainment and live like monks from this day forward? Not so! There are a lot of ways to be frugal and still have fun, like this twofer deal that Amy and her fiancé take advantage of in their hometown: "A local pizzeria has a ‘2 for $22' deal every Monday. We get two glasses of wine, two salads and one large pizza with two toppings," she says. Great deal.
Other entertaining ideas: Instead of going out every weekend, stay in every other Saturday for a romantic meal à deux. Shopping for food is an easy savings avenue, too. Says Allison Howard, 25, an account executive and a bride-to-be in Atlanta, Georgia, "My fiancé and I got a membership to a warehouse store, and we bought lots of food in bulk to prepare meals ahead of time. We cook great things!" Surely, a freezer-full of fabulous (and thriftily made) dishes is a great incentive to tuck away the takeout menus.
Allison and her guy took the frugal food-buying a step further, by avoiding all those trips to the grocery store "for just one more thing." "We made a pact to go food shopping only once every two weeks," she says. "If we didn't have something we wanted, we'd have to make do with what was there." Just think of all those times you say there's "nothing" to eat when in reality the pantry's stuffed with food you haven't yet touched.
Next, it's time to see how the first figure (that is, how much cash you have) differs from the second (an estimate of how much you're likely to spend). Got a number? Great! That's how much you're going to need to save. Now add a chunk more to it, because (a) you'll encounter expenses you didn't know existed, such as taxes and gratuities, and (b) it's likely you'll fall for, say, a more expensive dress or a to-die-for tiara that you just have to have. So build in a cushion of three to five percent of your total budget.
Now it's time to start saving. If that number—the lofty goal you've set for yourself—seems impossibly high, don't fret. It's actually not that hard to save once you lay the groundwork. Plus, it'll be good for the two of you to get in the habit of dealing with money. "Finances are one of the biggest sources of conflict for newlyweds," says Pam Little, editor of womenswallstreet.com, an online money magazine for women. "But if you establish good saving habits now, before you get married, you'll be way ahead of the game."
When it comes to saving, it's best to think both in terms of "big picture" things (savings accounts and investments; large spending choices) and "small picture" things (everyday savings and small spending choices). Here, from experts, brides-to-be and recent brides, some big-and small-picture ideas to help you build that wedding nest egg.
Long Term: Growing Your Money
Amy Rockey, 26, who works in sales, is a bride-to-be in State College, Pennsylvania—and the self-proclaimed budgeter in her relationship. The moment she and her fiancé, Wyatt, got engaged, she set the budget wheels into motion. "We are saving for our August 2006 wedding, and for our first home," says Amy. "Our big-day budget is $10,000—my parents are kicking in $2,000. We worked out a budget to live on, based on thenumber of months we have to save, and we're putting aside $1,000 each month."
Amy has actually hit on the most logical long-term strategy for wedding savings, says Little. Amy and Wyatt chose an account with ING Direct, an online bank that tends to offer higher interest rates than most bricks-and-mortar banks. "They probably prefer, or need to have access to, that money as they go along," says Little, so that they can pay wedding bills as they arise. "Another option, if you don't have to touch your money until right before the wedding, is a Certificate of Deposit, or CD," she adds. These earn even higher rates, but funds can't be withdrawn without incurring fees for the term of the CD, which can be six months, a year or more.
An investment account can also be a good idea. "Generally, the more time you have until your wedding, the more aggressive you can afford to be," says Little. So talk to an investment advisor and shop around.
Shop Smarter. It can be hard, even painful, to think about curtailing shopping, especially when you're engaged—one of the most shopping-heavy times of your life! The key is to focus your discretionary spending on the goal of a fabulous wedding. Those to-die-for sandals or that gotta-have-it sweater? They can wait.
If you're addicted to shopping by mail, try this technique: When you receive a catalog, mark what you think you want to buy, then put the catalog away; if you still want the item a month later, buy it. Chances are, though, you won't. The same can be done with regular shopping; resist impulses, with the promise you'll revisit the store or web site a few days or a week later. You may find that, really, the sandals already in your closet are just fine.
And don't forget the power of selling. One groom-to-be decided to sell his baseball card collection on eBay. It went for a hefty $8,000!—which was applied directly to wedding expenses. You can also post a free for-sale ad on Craig's List, or hold an old-fashioned garage sale. Think: furniture; barely worn shoes or coats; hardcover books, jewelry, and so on.
Take a Short-Cut to Beauty. If, before you were engaged, you were a salon regular, a hair-cut-and-color-every-six-weeks kind of girl, think about a simple trim every couple of months and home color. You can save a nice chunk over the course of a year. Skip the weekly waxes and get reacquainted with your razor and tweezers. When it gets closer to your wedding date, you can devote some of your beauty savings to trial hair-and-makeup appointments, and perhaps a relaxing pre-wedding spa day.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wedding Gratuity Guidelines
Gratuity Guidelines
The following are guidelines to tipping those who helped make your special day an extraordinary affair...
Caterer/Banquet Manager
15% to 20% (usually included in contract, however, if the caterer or manager has done an exceptional job, an additional $1.00 - $2.00 per guest is suggested.)
Waitstaff
15% to 20% (usually included in contract, however, if it is not included, the tip should be given to the maitre d' or head waiter along with an additional 1% - 2%.)
Bartenders
15% to 20% (if the bartender is not accepting tips from guests, an additional 10% is suggested, but not required.)
Limousine Drivers
15% to 20%
DJ's
15% - 20% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Bands
$25.00 per band member (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Photographer and Videographers
15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Florists
15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Bakers
15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Restroom and Coat Check Personnel
$0.50 - $1.00 per guest (if not accepting gratuity from guests, the host would be responsible for tipping personnel at the end of the event.)
Parking Attendants
$1.00 - $2.00 per car (if not accepting gratuity from guests, the host would be responsible for tipping parking attendants at the end of the event.)
Officiants
$75.00 - $100 .00 (Note: It is appropriate for a clergy member (priest, rabbi, minister, etc.) to accept gratuities or a donation along with their regular fee (if any), however, civil officiants (judges, clerks, etc.) receive a flat fee and are usually not allowed to accept gratuities.)
Ceremony Staff
$35.00 - $75.00 is suggested for organists/musicians. $5.00 - $25.00 is suggested for altar boys, sextons, etc. (gratuity is not usually required, however, if fees for the above are not included in the ceremony site fees, the suggestions above are appropriate.)
Wedding Planners / Coordinators
10% - 20% (gratuity is not usually required, although, for something better than usual to exceptional a 10-20% tip is not unheard of.)
This article brought to you by Wedding Zone.
The following are guidelines to tipping those who helped make your special day an extraordinary affair...
Caterer/Banquet Manager
15% to 20% (usually included in contract, however, if the caterer or manager has done an exceptional job, an additional $1.00 - $2.00 per guest is suggested.)
Waitstaff
15% to 20% (usually included in contract, however, if it is not included, the tip should be given to the maitre d' or head waiter along with an additional 1% - 2%.)
Bartenders
15% to 20% (if the bartender is not accepting tips from guests, an additional 10% is suggested, but not required.)
Limousine Drivers
15% to 20%
DJ's
15% - 20% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Bands
$25.00 per band member (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Photographer and Videographers
15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Florists
15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Bakers
15% (gratuity is not usually required, however, if you feel he/she has done an exceptional job or has provided extra or special services, a tip is a wonderful gesture.)
Restroom and Coat Check Personnel
$0.50 - $1.00 per guest (if not accepting gratuity from guests, the host would be responsible for tipping personnel at the end of the event.)
Parking Attendants
$1.00 - $2.00 per car (if not accepting gratuity from guests, the host would be responsible for tipping parking attendants at the end of the event.)
Officiants
$75.00 - $100 .00 (Note: It is appropriate for a clergy member (priest, rabbi, minister, etc.) to accept gratuities or a donation along with their regular fee (if any), however, civil officiants (judges, clerks, etc.) receive a flat fee and are usually not allowed to accept gratuities.)
Ceremony Staff
$35.00 - $75.00 is suggested for organists/musicians. $5.00 - $25.00 is suggested for altar boys, sextons, etc. (gratuity is not usually required, however, if fees for the above are not included in the ceremony site fees, the suggestions above are appropriate.)
Wedding Planners / Coordinators
10% - 20% (gratuity is not usually required, although, for something better than usual to exceptional a 10-20% tip is not unheard of.)
This article brought to you by Wedding Zone.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Take 2
Take 2
They found the perfect dress. They had the perfect ceremony. Now they don the dress again -- and get a little dirty for the sake of art.
Gallery
Trash the Dress
The picture-perfect day is over, but these brides grab their gowns again to have a little fun in front of the camera.
» LAUNCH PHOTO GALLERY
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Who's Blogging» Links to this article
By Ellen McCarthy
Sunday, September 6, 2009
ON A RADIANT JULY DAY, Michelle Coates had her hair and makeup done by a stylist, slipped into her designer wedding gown, drove out to the country and submerged herself in the frigid waters of the Shenandoah River. Actually, the early-evening dip came only after Coates had walked through a sunflower patch, lain down on a railroad track, peered through the window of a rusty old Chevrolet truck, pulled crickets out from the tulle of her skirt, hopped on top of a hay barrel, and maneuvered through the mold and cobwebs of an abandoned gas station.
This Story
Take 2
Tuesday, Sept. 8 at 12 Noon: Post Magazine: Trash the Dress
Trash the Dress
'Prayer to Infinity'
View All Items in This Story
View Only Top Items in This Story
What she never did that day was say, "I do."
That had happened a month earlier, in Las Vegas, when the bride pledged her life to Damion Coates, her boyfriend of three years, posed for traditional photos and kept her $2,000 Maggie Sottero gown immaculate through dinner and late-night dancing. At the river, however, she was all dolled up for one of the newest trends to emerge from America's wedding obsession: the Trash the Dress session.
It is and isn't what the name implies. The ultimate goal of a Trash the Dress shoot is art: to produce striking photos of a woman in a symbolic white dress in a setting in which she would never normally be found -- a gritty alley, perhaps, or a dark coal mine. She is often alone, but is sometimes shot with her husband, and it's rare that the gowns are fully destroyed, though the most honest brides say there is something cathartic about getting a little messy after so many months of fixating on perfection.
"I'm more about the experience and the memories that we'll have forever than just having a dress in a box," explains Coates, a 30-year-old Veterans Affairs employee from Woodbridge whose dress really did take a beating during a four-hour shoot that spanned eight locations that photographer Allison Britton had scouted.
"The whole bottom half is light brown -- it's not good," Coates admits. But despite the risk that her gown would be damaged, she had hired Britton after seeing the results of other Trash the Dress sessions the photographer had shot with local brides. "I thought it was so awesome. You're a regular girl, and you can kind of be a model for the day. It makes you feel different."
Damion, on the other hand, was a little leery. After looking at some Trash the Dress Web sites, "I was like, 'Oh, yeah, that's kind of cool, but would you really want to trash your dress?' And we went back and forth." Eventually he got on board. "I was like, 'Well, I guess you're never really gonna wear it again, so if you want to ... '" For him there was a bonus: "I got to see her in her wedding dress again, which I liked a lot."
Trash the Dress gives brides One More Day. One more day with eyes on them, in the dress they may have dreamed of for years and are often just a little bit loath to let go of once the big day is done.
But this is as much about the photographers as it is about the brides. The trend was started by John Michael Cooper, a Las Vegas wedding photographer who was sick of the standard routine. Okay, now the couple with Grandma Jane. Now the couple with Grandma Ethel. Like many who end up in the business, this was wasn't his original plan. He wanted to shoot old Hollywood-style portraits that reflect his personal aesthetic -- moody, a little dark, verging on spooky.
When a fire burned a thicket of mesquite trees at a nature preserve near Las Vegas in 2000, creating a "wicked little forest," Cooper's reaction was immediate: "I want to do a bridal session there." The recent brides he'd worked with declined his offer to be shot sitting in black ash, so Cooper bought a wedding dress from eBay, asked a friend to wear it and headed into the forest.
He coined the phrase "Trash the Dress" in a 2006 article about the work, though some photographers now disdain the term and have adopted the more affirmative "Rock the Dress" when pitching the idea to clients -- and hoping to add another day's work to the bottom line.
As the phenomenon has spread, photographers have broadened the approach to include almost any shoot that breaks a bride and groom out of the typical wedding context. Often the itineraries are designed to reflect some aspect of the couple's story or interests: scuba divers in the water, nature lovers on the path they walk with their dogs.
And in the process, photographers find themselves unshackled from wedding day constraints. "I get to have creative insight for once," says Britton. "And there's no time limitations."
Still, photographers say most of their brides balk at the mention, and explanation, of a Trash the Dress shoot. It takes a certain kind of bride to try it, one who's a little artistic or rebellious or a bit of an exhibitionist.
As for Michelle Coates, she's still soaring from the thrill of her big days -- both of them -- and waiting to see what the dry cleaner can do about her light-brown dress.
Ellen McCarthy is a staff writer for The Post's Style section. She can be reached at mccarthye@washpost.com.
They found the perfect dress. They had the perfect ceremony. Now they don the dress again -- and get a little dirty for the sake of art.
Gallery
Trash the Dress
The picture-perfect day is over, but these brides grab their gowns again to have a little fun in front of the camera.
» LAUNCH PHOTO GALLERY
TOOLBOX
Resize Print E-mail Yahoo! Buzz
COMMENT
13 Comments | View All »
POST A COMMENT
You must be logged in to leave a comment. Log in | Register
Why Do I Have to Log In Again?
Log In Again? CLOSEWe've made some updates to washingtonpost.com's Groups, MyPost and comment pages. We need you to verify your MyPost ID by logging in before you can post to the new pages. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Discussion PolicyYour browser's settings may be preventing you from commenting on and viewing comments about this item. See instructions for fixing the problem.
Discussion Policy CLOSEComments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions. You are fully responsible for the content that you post.
Who's Blogging» Links to this article
By Ellen McCarthy
Sunday, September 6, 2009
ON A RADIANT JULY DAY, Michelle Coates had her hair and makeup done by a stylist, slipped into her designer wedding gown, drove out to the country and submerged herself in the frigid waters of the Shenandoah River. Actually, the early-evening dip came only after Coates had walked through a sunflower patch, lain down on a railroad track, peered through the window of a rusty old Chevrolet truck, pulled crickets out from the tulle of her skirt, hopped on top of a hay barrel, and maneuvered through the mold and cobwebs of an abandoned gas station.
This Story
Take 2
Tuesday, Sept. 8 at 12 Noon: Post Magazine: Trash the Dress
Trash the Dress
'Prayer to Infinity'
View All Items in This Story
View Only Top Items in This Story
What she never did that day was say, "I do."
That had happened a month earlier, in Las Vegas, when the bride pledged her life to Damion Coates, her boyfriend of three years, posed for traditional photos and kept her $2,000 Maggie Sottero gown immaculate through dinner and late-night dancing. At the river, however, she was all dolled up for one of the newest trends to emerge from America's wedding obsession: the Trash the Dress session.
It is and isn't what the name implies. The ultimate goal of a Trash the Dress shoot is art: to produce striking photos of a woman in a symbolic white dress in a setting in which she would never normally be found -- a gritty alley, perhaps, or a dark coal mine. She is often alone, but is sometimes shot with her husband, and it's rare that the gowns are fully destroyed, though the most honest brides say there is something cathartic about getting a little messy after so many months of fixating on perfection.
"I'm more about the experience and the memories that we'll have forever than just having a dress in a box," explains Coates, a 30-year-old Veterans Affairs employee from Woodbridge whose dress really did take a beating during a four-hour shoot that spanned eight locations that photographer Allison Britton had scouted.
"The whole bottom half is light brown -- it's not good," Coates admits. But despite the risk that her gown would be damaged, she had hired Britton after seeing the results of other Trash the Dress sessions the photographer had shot with local brides. "I thought it was so awesome. You're a regular girl, and you can kind of be a model for the day. It makes you feel different."
Damion, on the other hand, was a little leery. After looking at some Trash the Dress Web sites, "I was like, 'Oh, yeah, that's kind of cool, but would you really want to trash your dress?' And we went back and forth." Eventually he got on board. "I was like, 'Well, I guess you're never really gonna wear it again, so if you want to ... '" For him there was a bonus: "I got to see her in her wedding dress again, which I liked a lot."
Trash the Dress gives brides One More Day. One more day with eyes on them, in the dress they may have dreamed of for years and are often just a little bit loath to let go of once the big day is done.
But this is as much about the photographers as it is about the brides. The trend was started by John Michael Cooper, a Las Vegas wedding photographer who was sick of the standard routine. Okay, now the couple with Grandma Jane. Now the couple with Grandma Ethel. Like many who end up in the business, this was wasn't his original plan. He wanted to shoot old Hollywood-style portraits that reflect his personal aesthetic -- moody, a little dark, verging on spooky.
When a fire burned a thicket of mesquite trees at a nature preserve near Las Vegas in 2000, creating a "wicked little forest," Cooper's reaction was immediate: "I want to do a bridal session there." The recent brides he'd worked with declined his offer to be shot sitting in black ash, so Cooper bought a wedding dress from eBay, asked a friend to wear it and headed into the forest.
He coined the phrase "Trash the Dress" in a 2006 article about the work, though some photographers now disdain the term and have adopted the more affirmative "Rock the Dress" when pitching the idea to clients -- and hoping to add another day's work to the bottom line.
As the phenomenon has spread, photographers have broadened the approach to include almost any shoot that breaks a bride and groom out of the typical wedding context. Often the itineraries are designed to reflect some aspect of the couple's story or interests: scuba divers in the water, nature lovers on the path they walk with their dogs.
And in the process, photographers find themselves unshackled from wedding day constraints. "I get to have creative insight for once," says Britton. "And there's no time limitations."
Still, photographers say most of their brides balk at the mention, and explanation, of a Trash the Dress shoot. It takes a certain kind of bride to try it, one who's a little artistic or rebellious or a bit of an exhibitionist.
As for Michelle Coates, she's still soaring from the thrill of her big days -- both of them -- and waiting to see what the dry cleaner can do about her light-brown dress.
Ellen McCarthy is a staff writer for The Post's Style section. She can be reached at mccarthye@washpost.com.
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